Why would you think something so ‘out of the blue’?

Depression is giving up on life, well, feeling like that or having those feelings inside your head even when you are at your happiest.

Strange eh?

It’s like, why would you even think like that? It’s really bizarre –  Just like making a trifle which consists of half a roast dinner and the traditional ingredients of cream, lady fingers and custard.

I think it’s fair to say this is the happiest I have ever felt in my life, yet something is counteracting it. I’m working incredibly hard to eradicate it but for some reason she’s not shifting – Just like when you ask a rather large-framed woman to give you her last piece of choccy cake.

You’ve got more chance of her walking up Rodney’s Pillar. In the dark. Backwards. With ankle weights.

Terry Crews fans and ‘EuroTraining’ you better have laughed at that one!

I’ve added these two photos as they are recent ones from my Instagram account. It’s a little if not a lot hypocritical of me because I slated social media in the past for being too ‘common’, but f*ck it, I can do what I want!

Anyway… my point being – I don’t really remember! Ha!

Oh yeah – It was about feeling the best in my life. These photos make me smile because they are from happy points in my life – Somewhere along the line they have made me smile and re-visiting these photos depicting our beautiful sunshine beating down on the wonderful landscapes we reside upon really is something special. Makes me take a deep breath every time I see them and think ‘wow, life has no real worries’. If something happens it happens. 

I hate that phrase because it’s stating the obvious but it’s a good one nevertheless.

Keeping up the fitness

I seem to have gone mad. If somebody had said 2 months ago that I was going to be fitness mad in 8 weeks time then I would have laughed in their face and sectioned them under the 136 Mental Health Act.

I am not really sure what it is – But something is driving me to complete all this exercise and keep my mind active, it feels so good, I literally feel invincible. I hope this isn’t a massive jinx now!

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This was a screen capture from a slow-motion video taken up Rodney’s Pillar today – Not sure what I am doing but I decided to jump and it looks pretty cool!

I think all these things I am doing, which are a little out of the ordinary for me, are brought on by my subconscious. Somewhere in the back of mind the word depression is floating around and my body wants and is trying so hard to eradicate it completely. Whether it will or not, who knows, but it’s certainly a battle I am winning at the moment.

This week of annual leave has been filled with exercise and food. It’s Kirsty’s birthday (anniversary of!) so I’ve been eating some unhealthy food but counteracting it with relentless exercise and keeping as active as possible.

I’ve mentioned this in previous blog posts – But my love of food has somewhat tripled or even quadrupled since I have given up alcohol. It’s not that fact that I am eating more of it but I get so excited when thinking, preparing and more so eating it!

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This was a close up of this morning’s food – Bread · Boiled Egg · Pan-Fried Spinach · Feta · Oil · Black Pepper – Try it, very easy to make and it’s delish!

I can definitely feel a change in my body. It’s a little over 9 weeks since I started going back to the gym, again! In the past I have wanted results far too quickly – They have inevitably not happened so I have given up far too easily. This time is different. I’ve been very tenacious with the attendance of how many times a week I visit this holy place. I’ve also attempted to ingrain a religious ‘debt’ in my mind so I won’t forgot to go (conveniently), say that I can’t be arsed or think of a piss-poor excuse as to why I am not going!

I am only cheating myself… blah blah blah… it sounds like a nagging wife/mother/other female family member when I read that back to myself but it couldn’t be nearer to the truth.