I don’t know how to describe it, as always! Ha! (Not actually funny) but I haven’t been feeling 100% (which is everyone else’s 70%) these last few days.
When the old boy asked me tonight,
“What’s made you feel like this, what in particular?”
I just couldn’t give him ‘proper’ answer. When I thought hard about it, the only thing that come to my mind was that it feels like I can’t be bothered with anything. Work, family, friends etc – It sounds horrible because everyone around me means the world to me – And they all know that – But that’s the only way to describe it.
It’s like a very small part of depression. The full picture is not wanting to see anybody at all and hiding myself away, but this was temporary in the sense of not wanting to see anybody for maybe a few hours.
Maybe these feelings are ‘normal’ and we all go through them from time to time, maybe I need to ‘man-up’, but whatever people think, they aren’t me so they just don’t know. It’s sad to think that I don’t really know what ‘normal’ feels like anymore.
Anyway, I wouldn’t say that I forced myself to go running, but I made a good effort and run / walked a bit under 4.5 miles so it was a valiant effort tonight. I maybe could have left it a little longer to run after tea though!