“Let’s start a footy team lads! We’ve got enough bodies to get going, we’ll get some kits, do it proper like, it’ll be right laugh!”
Yes. It was.
I’d started to organise the kits so we looked like the Dutch side Ajax; hence, Ajax Treesdown. It was not until the last-minute before placing our order at SportsJam in Shrewsbury did Matt butt in and say “Let’s go all orange, it’ll be a laugh”
I wanted to depict in the logo a sense of humour which we were all onboard with. I managed to do this by designing it myself and not showing anyone the finished product. This was they had maximum input.
As the logo contained an image which some people construed as ‘inciting being a paedophile’ – We were not allowed this for some strange reason – It may have been due to any winning teams were to have their photos published on the bulletin boards on the five-a-side league website, they were safe with us then! Nevertheless, it was rejected so we had to settle for a tamed down version.
Logo’s, kits and the ethics of the local community aside, we were all geared up to show this small Shropshire town how to play. Here are some facts which we already knew about our team even before we started kicking the ball.
✓ We looked ridiculous
✓ We were the odd ones out
✓ We looked like giant odd-shaped football playing carrots
✓ We were SHIT HOT….
✗ at playing bad!
I opted for the ironic name. Carrying a little more weight than intended at time of creating the Ajax Treesdown team, ‘Slim’ was the obvious choice for me. The only change I would have made would have been to get the next size up in shirt! Still, nothing would have stopped me looking like a giant orange with a head, arms and legs.
Matt decided to opt for ‘Bomber’. It was political correctness gone mad! In respect to the goings on and happenings of today’s World with terror attacks, suicide bombers and other sick events, we thought about changing his name. Given that we hadn’t exactly been ‘PC’ since the beginning, it stuck! So the actual reason he chose this name was because in his earlier days Matt looked like a terrorist.
Japstaaaa was Gav’s choice for looking, you’ve guessed it, Japanese. Dan’s was feathers – Something to do with his chicken like neck from what I remember… I’m sure he will be happy to oblige and tell us. He also chose the number 99! Who the hell has this number? Maybe somebody on the bench in the conference. His knowledge on football wasn’t the best but it all added to the comedy value of our team!
Joking aside. I did ensure we took our training schedule very seriously. Routines, drills, intense workouts, HIIT, strict diets and a focused mind was all part of our scheme to conquer the other teams in the league.
Dan and Gav demonstrate a this below.
Dan seems to be checking his boot for chicken feed whilst Gav looks like he is practising to be the World’s first human-carrot contortionist.
A few slide tackles, no broken legs (thank Christ!), burns from astro-turf and many laughs later… we had all drifted apart and the team was no longer. It was a sad time but we had made memories forever – Who wouldn’t laugh at these photos?!
The blind. The only exception.
Given that this was now 9 years ago, this will be incredibly hard to remember! I suppose the strange thing is that I decided to shave my hair off. I wasn’t sporting a beard at the time (due to the fact it probably wouldn’t grow) so I looked like a little chubby adult baby.
My favourite image has got to be the first one, and of course I have blown it up because it such a difference to what I look like now! (see the about page for more recent shots)
Me and a couple of other mates (one of them being Gav from the photos) went to V2006 but I don’t seemed to remember taking any photos. I think I remember being quite shy back then so none of these shenanigans would have happened then. Especially no shaving of the hair and spraying it yellow like a branded sheep in a field which is preparing to be sheared. Or other words begging with S.