I’ve been keeping up the exercise for approximately 7-10 days now, and although that doesn’t seem like a long time for most, it is for me. Yes, I have done it before, 6 months of hard work led me to shed 3 stone (18Kg) back in 2014.
But this time it is different. Of course, it’s 4 years later, but my mind is different, my focus is different, my life is different and my life’s purpose seems to be dangling in front of me on a piece of string, actually looking promising, rather than not there at all.
I don’t know where or not anxiety, depression and the other feelings I have had played a part in me feeling awful prior to these last 2 weeks, but I am certain in saying so much feels like it has changed.
I would say honestly that I am not feeling 100%, purely because I have had this ‘dark cloud’ or some sort of coloured cloud over my head for so long that I have actually forgotten what ‘normal’ feels like – Maybe I have never known? It’s a kind of sad thought but I have to be realistic here.
Over the past two weeks I would say that the depressive feelings in my head, mind, body etc have cleared up the most. I don’t want to jinx it now and have an episode tomorrow, but something is working.
I am sure my Dad will read this and smile to himself because he has repeated this for so long now it’s like the following words are engraved on the inside of my eyelids:
“Get to that bloody gym and do some exercise, you will feel better!”
Yeah yeah… of course parents are right, but you never tell them that – Not to their faces anyway! You will never hear the end of it trust me – You will be telling someone of their ‘wise words’ and inevitable interfering one day when all you will see out of the corner of your eye using your peripheral vision is a little smirk from them, basically saying…
“I told you so.”
Lesson learned I suppose but it’s so frustratingly funny… I think that’s the best way to describe it.
I have a 10K run coming up at work and also a climb up Snowdon so I want to be prepared as best as a I can. Yes, I could have started sooner, but I didn’t, so quit the moaning and let me suffer now by squeezing all the exercise into the next 4 weeks!
Friday saw one of my very good friends getting married to the love of his life. Gav & Al got married @ the Albright Hussey near Albrighton and it was a brilliant day! I was best man, which was an absolute pleasure. I was accompanied by the love of mine! It’s times like these which make my life worth living.
Perhaps this conversation is too deep for a Sunday night before work but I have to type this somewhere! It’s not something I desperately want to get off my chest, but it is something which I wanted to share – Also a piece to look back on when reflecting on the good times and seeing what really makes me smile.
I had arranged the stag do for Gav which was 3 weeks prior to the wedding – I never drank alcohol. Yes, I have passed my 1-year mark but I want to keep going. If I can stay sober for 1 year, stay sober through a stag do, stay sober through a wedding – This pretty much makes me invincible, right?
This is definitely a superpower – Because I bet I could pick 1,000 people from the streets of Shrewsbury who would not be able to complete the same challenge as me!