The stakes are high.

Go in to a supermarket and navigate to the meat section, grab the nearest fillet and hold it above your head, then repeat the title of this post.

Very funny. This isn’t sarcasm. Just a joke I had with Amy this week. Amy, I hope you are reading this because I know you will smile!

Fillet · Wedges · Mushrooms Sauce · Peas · Bosh!

Talking of steaks – This three-way Instagram photo above was Sunday’s meal. 3 fillet steaks were just a little under £25 from a local farm shop (Churncote, Welshpool Road) which had been freshly cut for us. They weren’t the thickest of cuts but I guess I never contemplated shrinkage when I was asking the butcher to slice up our cow – Maybe next time I’ll go for 2 inches thick so that the actual cooked piece is somewhat larger.

Anyway – Still a good 9/10 for me – A light homemade mushroom sauce, wedges and a billion peas was my perfect Sunday (Hot Fuzz anyone?)… so thanks Jules!

For some reason I am up ridiculously early; it’s that start of my week off so I guess subconsciously I am making the most of it and not staying in bed like a fat slob.

We go to Krakow on Thursday, so that is something I have been looking forward to in a while. I am not a fan of history, in terms of the events which happened 100, 200, 300 years ago etc – But I do like the WW1 and WW2 side of things. I think it’s because it’s more documented, there’s more evidential findings on what occurred during these times and there are many documentaries, films and readings so for me it’s easier to follow. For someone who writes a blog like this that probably sounds a bit weird but I have a very short attention span, so unless it interests me or it’s relevant I am highly unlikely to pay attention.

I imagine it’s going to be pretty harrowing – To have family members go through wars and not be able to talk about them is hard enough, but to see the aftermath of the atrocities which occurred more than 60 years ago and to still experience that chilling sensation I expect will be mind-blowing. Unfortunately, it will be mind-blowing in a different sense; what could cause, or what could one person possibly have going through their mind to commit genocide on this monstrous level?

Anyway, enough of that for now, I will document our trip and post when I come back!

This week, depression wise etc, has been top draw. It’s strange to think that some days, I don’t even think about it – Which is great. My brain (cell) must be managing any thoughts I have within my subconscious, rationalising them quick enough and eradicating them from my mind.

I think this is depicted well in my blogging – I am sure if you look back to July 24 when you can clearly see a self-destructive Sam, and then compare it to my recent posts, there is definitely an improvement on the language I am using, my outlook on life and generally it’s a more uplifting read. If it’s not then please tell me because I can always adapt!

Is this normal life then? I had spent so many years where depression was an unknown and untapped part of my life, I suppose now I can say it went undiagnosed because I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me – The anger, the sadness, the emptiness, the worthlessness. I feel so much more mellow, calm, relaxed and on track at this current moment in time. It’s bizarre. It really is.

You all know what I am doing to ‘counteract’ the depression because I have said previously, I am positive all these attributes are working together to help me because I feel like this is how everyone else feels on a daily basis. That’s such a broad spectrum I know and it’s impossible to know how others are actually feeling but I just imagine it’s a lot more peaceful and less stressful when you don’t have something like depression hanging over you.

Job done for today.