17 down and 45 to go.

It’s so rare in life, to find someone who understands, loves and cares for you in everyway you can possibly think of.

I’ve had relationships in the past where I have ‘loved’ people, and it was reciprocated, but they never expressed their love like you have, did, and are currently in the process of doing!

What is it about the human mind which links two people together so strongly, that no matter where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, the connection of love, friendship, companionship, and every other possible word you can think of, never seems to fade, is so strong and is something which when created, seems unbreakable?

There must be a synapse in the brain which triggers a thought and creates a binding contract between your heart and theirs. What else can it be? It’s the best ever feeling but I want to know what it is.


What is it about a person that we fall so much in love with? Why?


No matter how many highs, lows, bad and good points, low self-esteem thoughts & negative things you think about yourself, somewhere out there, in their own little unique way, is someone waiting, loving you the exact way you want them to. Maybe they won’t think of you every second of the day; but guaranteed, you’ll pop into their head and they’ll smile about you, for some crazy reason!

I’ve found someone so special. She knows she’s found someone to! (Modest haha!)

I’ll be honest and say at this current moment in time, I’m terrified of my depression coming back. For those who have read my blog will know I was in a really dark place just under 5 months ago, but I persevered, fought hard and had the tenacity of a rat climbing a drain pipe to reach the top and get myself out.

It’s that time of year again when the weather can alter my mood, and there isn’t a lot that can be done about it. It’s called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – I’m not sure if I have this, but the last three episodes of depression have been in the winter months of December, January and then November.

Being involved in a new relationship which is a temporary long-distance one is proving to be hard, but worth it. It’s a constant battle at the moment between feeling happy and sad but I know we will beat it together.

On some scale I am worried that all this new and exciting emotion will affect my bodies way of handling depression. It feels like it might bring on another episode but I am battling hard to eradicate this from happening. Not again. Please.

Being an agnostic (save the Hot Fuzz jokes!) I am reluctant to personally believe that there is a God out there.

But do you know what, if I was ever going to pray at any time in my life, it would be now. I’d pray for my depression not to come back, especially at this time of year…


… especially now I have met this unique person I am happy to call my girlfriend, my love, my soulmate and my jigsaw.


I’m having a hard time as it is and I don’t want any other sh*t to deal with!

Thanks – To whoever is up there in the clouds…