A diamond in the rough

The photo here is a random one from this week. Lucy, posing, from a walk through Nesscliffe woods with other miscellaneous animals and humans.


Unfortunately, I am not writing a post here about my devilishly good looks. I haven’t got enough time this year to even begin to start writing about them.

As strange, modest, happy and ill-timed as my sense of humour seems at this current moment in time, it’s the complete opposite story for the way I feel.

a diamond in the rough is referring to the fact that no matter how shit things feel sometimes, regardless of what or who has caused them, there is something good in your life; you just need to see it, be shown it or find out how to see it yourself.

I currently have this going on right now. After having a busy day at work I have come home and I’m just struggling to keep my head above water. Don’t worry, I’m not in the bath and slowly slipping under from the tiredness, it was a metaphor.

I love this writing. It’s so strange how I can feel ‘down’ yet still have the courage to write something silly and try and make the readers of my blog smile. I’m sure some of you must do because I am guilty at laughing at my own jokes!

This ‘funny man’ sometimes is what keeps me going. Whether I am on my own, with a friend or even a group of people, sometimes he says something to me, and I smile to myself; temporarily occupying my mind and taking it adrift from the dark clouds which linger above.

Time to breathe.

I took a trip up Rodney’s Pillar yesterday with Fin, my step-sister, I suppose, well that’s the easiest way to describe our relationship! Oh and Troy. The dog.

It’s a hard-ish 45-minute walk, for those who are unfamiliar to the area. For those who are familiar, it’s relatively easy but not after a few weeks of filling your body with Turkey, Terry’s Chocolate Oranges and many a bottle o’Becks Blue.

This was the well deserved sausage sandwich post-walk!

Anyway… finally!

It just made me think, hence the post-walk blog post now after a little time for reflection.

What I’ve been experiencing these last 2 months has been phenomenal. It’s so hard to describe when someone comes into your life like they have done with me and you’ve just been bombarded with emotions, mostly good!

I guess it’s good sometimes just to get away from any situation, think, breathe, calm yourself, relax and just contemplate it all.

The Pillar is a great way to take your mind away from everything, apart from the burning sensation in your quads!

But on a serious note, without too much personal detail, I’ve been finding things a little difficult and I’ve struggled this last week. Anxiety, stress and paranoia have come to revisit my mind temporarily but it’s manageable.

Some things just take more time, perseverance, determination and hard work. Work smarter, not harder, Sam.

When you are bombarded by said emotions as mentioned above, your mind is somewhat paralysed with the overwhelming feelings they each individually omit.

You do things which may hurt people.

You say things which may upset people.

You ask things people won’t like.

You think things you don’t want to ask.

But for some reason, you feel compelled to action these thoughts. And the moment you do, your brain thinks one thing, and one thing only.

SHIT.

But… for those on the receiving end. Know that it’s NEVER malicious. It’s never intentional. It makes people sad when they don’t want to do something but also feel compelled to do it.

And then do it. And then regret it. Almost immediately.

It’s just new. It’s exciting. It’s hard to handle sometimes. Sometimes we are irrational and we don’t think before we act.

All we can do is try.

Make others smile with our own unique actions.

Make them aware how much we love them.

This week in photos

I visited Andrea (my counsellor) on Thursday and we had our fort-nightly catch up on how things are going. The one thing which was on my mind was the haziness in my head which was combined with over-salivation. I never thought of side-effects from the tablets I am taking, only because it had been 8 weeks without any major issues – It became apparent that this was the issue I was having the moment she mentioned it.

Weird feelings aside, I’m still feeling exceptionally good (touching wood as you read!) and I’m hoping it will last forever – Unlikely, but I am remaining as positive as possible for the reasons you all know!

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This was this morning, pre-blog post and soaking up the sun! Gorgeous – Apart from the Welsh mug! Sorry Mum, Dad, Kirsty, Ann, Phil… the whole family? Ok, I suppose I am Welsh after all.

Let’s start with food… because we all know it’s better than ANYTHING else on the planet!

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This was awesome. Brown bread, loaded with lashings of Lurpak, semi-fried leaf spinach, boiled eggs and a mountain of black pepper – Accompany this by a coffee and it’s the breakfast of champions!
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I started to get a little more creative for lunch – This was a post-hike snack (see photo below). So here we have toasted focaccia · pan-fried tomatoes · rocket · runny boiled eggs · feta · olive oil  drizzled over the top · black pepper

I always try to be as healthy as I can and I’ve always loved food. I’m as creative as I can be and I will normally try anything I haven’t done before. It may seem very simple and it is. Just 4 or 5 ingredients thrown together and presented well…ish.

I do like experimenting with food – I’m anal on the presentation too because that’s what you see on your plate – Pointless spending hours sicking around in the kitchen (Julie!) and then slamming it onto the plate and serving up a lump if mush! Presentation can make it that extra bit special – I’m sure it must add to the flavour because as you as you start to salivate those taste buds must send all sorts of signals to the brain.

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Robyn, Alfie dog and myself – This was yesterday – The top of the World! Well, close enough, it was Rodney’s Pillar standing at 1,204ft or 367 metres – Whatever the height, it was effing windy!
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The love of animals – Sometimes I think we all wish we loved life as much as animals love playing with their toys – Chance would be a fine thing. So here’s Ruby – Oddly enough she’s not playing with her ball, she’s found another toy and is looking rather sheepish.