From riches to rags!

I’ve been feeling great these past few days (still not 100%) and now I feel a little less than a bit less than 100% – Bit of a tongue twister for you!

I am keen to do exercise which is good – I have only started again this week after 5-6 weeks of being lazy, but even 3-4 days of hard exercise has prompted my brain to want to keep me going – This is good.


I have been feeling a little low so I would say this is because I have been comforting eating – Too many sugary foods (my addiction) which has been counteracting the HIIT exercise and having a negative spiralling effect. When I am down, I feel like eating comfort food which are usually the ones containing sugar so there is no way of winning at the moment! It’s a catch 22 scenario.

I guess you just have to break free. Break the concentration the second you go to eat something which you know for a fact you will regret the moment after stuffing whatever it is you are drooling over into your mouth.

FOCUS SAM. FOCUS.

It is really hard to describe how I am feeling right now. As I write this post the sun is shining through the windows and can’t help but be annoyed as to how hot it actually is. When I am feeling a little down – There are so many things that get on my nerves. I just feel like screaming into a pillow…

I’ll be back in 10 minutes.

Ok. Better now.

My mind must be slightly broken, I was on a high yesterday and felt so positive. Now I can sadly say I feel almost the complete opposite.

“Hmmm what’s going on here?”

I am recalling now when I used to feel down before. I used to mope around, feel sorry for myself, hope things would just work themselves out and life would be a breeze and a walk in the park.

I have a tension headache, I feel like nothing is making sense and I dreading this next week because it’s looking into the unknown. The possibilities are unknown (legs begin to involuntarily bang together with anxious thoughts) and that affects me, especially when I am in this state.

This is all very strange, because when I think about it, I don’t actually know and I can’t think of a reason why this is so bad. Yes, I have a few things going on in my life which aren’t going the way I want them to, but, so what?

I wish I could just think this way all of the time. It’s not the end of the World. These bad/frustrating things will end soon and I know I will come out on top.

I can’t let this thing win. I just can’t. This dark cloud over my head is just lurking over the top of me and the shit-storm it is chucking down is giving one hell of a battle.

Reflecting.

6 days have passed but it feels like 6,000.

56 days to go and it feels like 6,000.

12 hours since we spoke and it feels like 6,000.

Love is measured in time. Maybe that’s why it’s all relevant to our lives? The question is somewhat rhetorical and almost inevitably unanswerable, but most of us want an answer.

I’m pining for your touch, your smile, your laugh, your energy around me, your physical presence and your unconditional love.

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

It’s such an amazing feeling, not just having these super-strong feelings of love, connection, romance, and togetherness; but to have them reciprocated.

I’ve had romances in the past and have felt like I’ve been in love, or she has been ‘the one’, but this all changed when I met you. The feeling is 1,000 times stronger in every possible way.

Soul mates are 2 parts of a jigsaw. You are one and I am the other. We fit together in all ways posssible.

Who cares that we haven’t found each other until now?

Nobody worth knowing. We’ve found each other. Surely that’s all that matters? (Rhetorical, but the answer is a definate YES!)

This is such a strange feeling but you are definitely my drug. I’m having massive withdrawal symptoms and it’s almost like my heart is hurting – Hurting with the temporary non-physical presence of someone you love.

Texting is fun. Video calls are even better, but there is nothing like feeling the soft touch of your skin as I wrap my arms around you, look deep into your eyes and kiss you.

Each day passes slower than the last. It feels longer than the next and hurts more than the present.